Have you Hugged Your Kapha Today?

I've been a bit shy to talk about my relationship with Kapha, mainly because I feel like a poster-child for it.   “Kapha-imbalance” seems to be another way of saying “fat,” and though I know it’s more complicated than that, it can feel like every bit of advice, every word of an article, every chapter of an Ayurvedic book examining Kapha is pointing at me, saying, “Come on, already, Crystal! These are your problems – we all know it! DO something about it!”

Of course, I know that’s my ego, trying to convince me that I’m more noticeable, more in need, more everything than anyone else.   I struggle with Vata and Pitta issues as well, just as we all do, but I’m not so scared of or insecure about those struggles.  As I listened to people talk about their own relationship with Kapha at the meeting last night, I could hear the same frustrations that I've felt.  After I came home, I realized I was so busy listening to them that I didn't have time to check how much visible fat those people speaking had. 

How thankful I am for those moments of clarity, when I can see how I hold myself to a different set of standards than I hold everyone else.  My self-standards are surprisingly strict, with a very narrow definition of “good” and “acceptable.”  My seasonal work (which I suspect will be recurring as often as the seasons) has been (continues to be) expanding that definition to be a bit closer to the one I apply to the rest of the people in the world.

In our culture, it’s sexier to have a Vata imbalance – you’re busy, so you must be needed.  It’s sexier to have a pitta imbalance – you’re so driven and hard-working; you've got a good work ethic.  It’s not so sexy to have a Kapha imbalance – you’re lazy and blobby, a couch potato.  In our culture, it’s also always sexier to focus on the negatives, the imbalances, the things that aren't right, lest someone think we have the audacity to be well-adjusted  and even a bit self-assured (gasp!).

If I can rid myself of this overly-simplistic definition of Kapha = fat, I see how my Kapha nature has given me confidence and strength.  I am generally unruffled by life, able to accept reality without too much drama. Steady.  I have an abundance of love, and it is easy for me see beauty.  Practical strangers have told me I have that “Mother Earth” vibe.  I am adaptable, flexible, willing to go with the proverbial flow. These qualities, when I write them, should be celebrated more often.  So what if my forward fold doesn't fold very forward?  So what if I get sinus infections, have allergies, retain water, and love ice cream?

With this Kapha-imbalance, I have to carefully watch how much I say, “So what?”  Kapha can make me want to give up too soon. Here’s the real difficult dance:  I need to show Kapha my stick.  I don’t need to beat myself with it.