Me and Kapha

Note from Crystal:  This is posted on behalf of Christina, who says," I couldn't make our December meeting because I'm out of town, but I wanted to share a few things I'm working on. I hope the meeting was wonderful, and I'm sorry I missed seeing all of you."
 

 

Me and Kapha
by Christina

 

My journey this season with Ayurveda had been moving along smoothly until about the middle of last week. Then I hit a wall of thick slow energy that took hold deep down and has been tugging at me ever since.  As a vata kapha, I struggle with kapha, largely because I fear it and the power it seems to have over me.  Awakening over the past year or so to Ayurveda and my dosha type, I am more kindly and directly facing kapha and its imbalances. I find it the most challenging of all the doshas--and along with it, winter the most challenging of all the seasons.

 

I've been doing the body-based yoga practice Juliet recommended over the past few weeks and through that have found my work is focused on an important task: finding flow and lightness as I try to keep my feet grounded into the earth.

 

In my first body-based yoga practice, my body struggled to both feel the ground and let go of the stiff and weighted energy that lay dormant in my body so that I could flow freely and organically.  I decided to attend to the grounding energy of my feet and core, relaxing into earth without worrying about the vata energy that was flying crazily around me. Soon I found a moment--a very short moment--of equilibrium.  I felt my feet plant firmly and my body lighten and feel open.  It was refreshing, but when the heaviness returned soon after that practice, it felt heavier and sludgier than ever.  It was as though I had opened my body and welcomed the energy that I fight against so frequently. And it left me mired in the sludge.  Probably does not sound like a positive experience, but I'm starting to understand that it is what I need to face in this juncture.

 

At one point in Juliet's Saturday class, I was in malasana and I thought, this is it. This is the shit that I resist, despise, and from which I always disconnect.  I felt it deeply in my hips as I struggled to find a comfortable moment in the position.  But then I tried to relax and started to focus on my core and pressing my big toe into the earth.  I then felt something moving--that dark energy moving around and making space for something else.  My butt settled down closer to earth and I felt lighter in my heart.  I could feel that the sludge did not have to take over.  The feeling was again momentary, but what I realized this time was that I can plug into that darker heavier energy and find places to move and shift.  I can play with this energy instead of fearing and dreading it.  I realized the real work of my body in the juncture and the season: to play with kapha. 

 

Writing and saying it sounds both silly and impossible. Nevertheless, it is my goal. I know I missed our meeting in December, but I am working on finding ways to play on my own and hopefully will find some support and sharing at our next meeting.  This is something that I'm sure I'll keep returning to in the months to come this winter season. I wish you all a wonderful holiday and season as you work on your own shifts and transformations!